Hazel Addley on Show #29: Setting Boundaries and Staying Healthy

hazel addley

Hazel Addley is dedicated to helping creative professionals and entrepreneurs feeling stuck or bored in their business or career answer the age-old question: “What’s next?”. She helps people find their meaning and their purpose in their life, business, and career, and transform it into a life they love living through her home-based coaching business.

Hazel has a background as a freelance arts manager and a has diploma in Personal Performance Coaching from The Coaching Academy. She is also one of the first EAM (Energy Alignment Method) Mentors in the world. She draws from her personal experiences and challenges to help her clients achieve their goals.

Today, Hazel joins me on the show to discuss how running a coaching business compares to working as a freelance arts manager and how she structures her work day to stay productive without sacrificing her free time. She also shares how she ensures she remains healthy as a busy entrepreneur.

“If you don’t have a sense of boundaries with how you do your work, then you could feel pressured to work all the time.”

This Week on the POWER to Live More Podcast:

  • Why she chooses to work structured hours
  • Her morning routines and daily structure
  • How planning your workday ahead can help improve your productivity and reduce stress
  • How she uses Microsoft Excel in her business
  • Time management strategies
  • The Power of an Hour strategy – blitzing tasks you don’t enjoy doing
  • Fitting exercise and nutrition into the entrepreneurial lifestyle
  • Investing in self-improvement
  • How she detaches her emotions when things don’t go right
  • How taking a ‘time out’ can benefit your life and your work

Mentioned Resources:

Connect with Hazel Addley:

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Show notes provided brilliantly (my words not theirs!) by Lidwell Writing Services, LLC

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Jo Dodds: Today I'm interviewing Hazel Addley, of Hazel Addley coaching. Welcome, Hazel. Great to have you with me.

Hazel Addley: Hello.

Jo Dodds: Lovely to be interviewing you. So tell us a bit about you, what you do, and where you do it?

Hazel Addley: Right. Well, my work is about helping people who are saying to themselves, "Is this all there is to life?" So people who are feeling bored or unsatisfied in their life, it could be they're feeling stuck or maybe at a crossroads, and they don't know what to do next to create a more fulfilling life for themselves. I help them to create a life that is meaningful and purposeful for them, so one that they love living. I do that based at my home office majority of the time.

Jo Dodds: Lovely. Sounds like a rather large purpose. So what does that translate into, how do you deliver that with your people?

Hazel Addley: My main skill set is based on coaching, partnered with a personal development toolkit, which is all the things I've applied to myself, found along my own personal journey, that when I find the right mix, when I'm coaching somebody, I will then bring those tools to the table.

Jo Dodds: Great. So you work from home. How long have you been doing that for?

Hazel Addley: I've been running my coaching business for about 3 and a half years, but I've worked from home most of my adult life. So [inaudible 00:01:32] won't say quite how many years there are, but plenty.

Jo Dodds: So was that in sort of a more corporate role, working for somebody else but working from home?

Hazel Addley: I used to be an arts manager, so I would take on freelance contracts and short-term contracts for creative organizations or organizations with a creative remit, and I would go in and deliver ... I'd have the skills to where I could deliver whatever they had funding to deliver, so that could be project management, or it could be admin or marketing, or evaluation. So I'd go in for 6 months or a year, and go again. But often, that would be based at home, because that was just the nature of the beast, really.

Jo Dodds: Has it changed since you've been running a different type of business, the sort of working from home thing?

Hazel Addley: It's more fun. I don't feel any pressure in the sense of ... I guess before, I felt more of a weight on me. That I needed to keep track of all my hours, so that I was invoicing appropriately to my clients, and I was honouring my contracts appropriately. Whereas now, I am much more ... It's about delivering to my clients, but it's also running the business behind the scenes. This is about making that in tune with me, who I am, and how I function as a human. So I can be much more intuitive with it now, so it's more relaxed.

Jo Dodds: That's interesting. Sometimes I talk to people who work from home and have their own business, and they work in a very structured way as if they were working sort of 9-to-5 for an employer, but it's just obviously their business. Then other people, which is my style, they tend to be a bit more flexible and sort of go with the flow.

Hazel Addley: Well, I'm a 9-to-5er. I am. By choice. So I get up, and I turn up at my desk about 8 AM, maybe. Maybe 9, in the winter. It's not strict, but I kind of get there with my breakfast at my desk, and I work maybe until 5ish. I'm not strict about it, but I do take a lunch break somewhere around 12 or 1. Because I know I work best in the mornings, so it makes sense to do that time at my desk. Then the afternoons, if I don't work, I don't work. I might do something in the evening. But in the evening, it would only ever be stuff like project-based stuff, not client stuff. Unless it's a client call, which is slightly different. There are pockets for that. So I'm flexible, but 9-to-5 is how I like to keep the bulk of my work.

Jo Dodds: Why do you do that? What's the-

Hazel Addley: Because I really value my time not working. As much as I love my work, I think the time not working is important, and I think if you don't have a sense of boundaries with how you do your work, at least for me, then I could feel pressure to work all the time. Sometimes, I [inaudible 00:04:19] I do overwork, but having the boundaries help me protect my well-being.

Jo Dodds: So do you have a specific routine in the morning? You talked about sort of turning up at your desk with your breakfast. Are there certain things that you do on a daily basis, and is there a sort of root into your work? Do you write a to-do list, and that sort of thing. How does the day start for you?

Hazel Addley: My morning routines have evolved over the years, but I do always have a morning routine. At the moment, I get up and I exercise. At least 6 mornings a week. First thing I do. Then I tend to shower and get dressed, but whilst I'm doing those things, I'm maybe doing some stuff to lift my mood, or I'm listening to audiobooks. Then I do breakfast. So I make a nice, healthy smoothie. Then I turn up at my desk with my smoothie. And when I'm at my desk-

Jo Dodds: That makes it ... I was imagining sort of crumbs all over your desk, but now you tell me-

Hazel Addley: Oh, there used to be [crosstalk 00:05:23]. It used to be toast, or muesli, or porridge, but I've transitioned to smoothies now, which is easier, actually. A lot easier. When I'm at my desk, I tend to already have a plan for the week. I write notes and leave them on my desk, ready for me to see. I do know, roughly, what I'm going to be doing before I start my day, but the first thing I tend to do is open up my e-mails, and Facebook, and Twitter, and just have a kind of easing in by just checking all my messages with an intention of shutting them down straight after.

Jo Dodds: Does that happen?

Hazel Addley: Yes. The only time it doesn't is if there's a task that I'm avoiding, that I've got resistance to doing. I notice that Facebook seems to be open a lot more, and I'm looking at it for no reason. Then I become conscious of it, and then I do something about it.

Jo Dodds: So how do you then move that into your day? How do you arrange to get the stuff done that you need to do for the day? How do you manage your tasks?

Hazel Addley: I see the morning as my magic time. It's the time when I'm going to get the most value for time. I always plan something in the morning that needs my quality of focus. Often, that might be something project-based, or something I've been dreading doing, or something that I struggle with. I'll do those in the morning, and then I'll program meetings. This might sound strange, but I'll program my coaching more for the afternoons, because I can find the energy and the focus for doing one-to-one sessions, whereas in the afternoon, I cannot find the energy to program my social media, for instance. I just can't. Whereas anything live, I can have all the energy and focus I need for that. So in the mornings, it's definitely ... Whatever is the next thing on my to-do list that I need to work on.

Jo Dodds: Yeah, I sort of buy into that. I block all my mornings out, so that when people are booking times in with me, it's just the afternoons, for that sort of reason, really.

Hazel Addley: Exactly.

Jo Dodds: Not that mornings are necessarily my best time, as a bit of a night bird, but I do like the morning to be clear for my own priorities. What about through the end of the day? You talked about having a sort of 9-to-5 routine because that evening time's important to you, apart from as you said, sometimes you have client calls, potentially. Is there a way to finish the day, and then as the day progresses into the evening and going to bed and going to sleep, do you have any particular routines at that end of the day?

Hazel Addley: I like to check off my to-do list, and to mentally regroup with what's priority for the next day. I always like to know what I need to be doing next. So I think it's good to let the brain mull it over overnight.

Jo Dodds: Do you ever add things to your to-do list and cross them off all in one go? Things you've done that you put on?

Hazel Addley: Sometimes I end up having like ... I write on scraps of paper. When I recycle my paper, I cut it into 4 and have that as a stack of notes, note paper. Sometimes I'll have several of those, as well, that I need to cross off. So I get double crossing-off as I remember them, at different times. But that's kind of counter-productive. So at the end of the day, often it's my tummy grumbling and saying, "Go to cook now." So it's like a quick check of messages, because I do try and keep my e-mail shut a lot of the day. So I check them at the beginning and the end of the day. A quick check of Facebook, just to check I haven't missed anything message-wise, and then it's [legging it 00:09:17] to the kitchen to get cooking.

Jo Dodds: Then what about later on? Have you done a ... You've done whatever evening ...

Hazel Addley: Yeah, so I like to try and relax at some point. So I watch a film or a TV series. I don't watch live TV, but I watch like a specific series at a time. I like to make sure I go outside and get some outside time, so I might go in the garden and relax for a bit. I think it's good to remember that life isn't all just work and entertainment. There is this kind of bigger world out there. Just connect with that a bit. Then the evenings, I love my evenings, but they're kind of filled with ... There always seems to be some sort of activity to do in the evening. At the moment, I'm doing study quite a lot, or I'm doing project-based work. After I kind of let my dinner go down, I'll then get some energy to do something productive. Then hard part for me is actually stopping, because I get a burst of energy in the evening. I actually need to stop and have like a ... A kind of routine, but kind of chilling out, I guess. I'll do stuff like clean my teeth, and floss, and wipe my face, and all that stuff, and then go to bed. Spend an hour or two just in bed, because otherwise, I won't sleep unless I've had that decompression time.

Jo Dodds: I wish I could be really organized to do that. I do that bit, and go to bed, and then probably do spend half an hour or an hour not going to sleep, but I should have started an hour or two earlier like you've just said.

Hazel Addley: I don't actually do it as often as I should. The thing is whatever time I seem to climb into bed, unless I'm really, really tired, I will be awake ... Because I turn my light off when I'm ready to sleep. I hate lying there awake. So if I climb into bed at 11, it will be gone 12 before I turn the light off. My alarm in the morning is still going off at the same time. I'm now starting to realize that if I want to go to sleep by 11, say, I need to start thinking about chilling out by half 9 and starting that process. When I'm in bed, I think I like to prepare for the next day. I prepare what my workout videos are going to be on YouTube, and I read, and I try not to check Facebook, but sometimes I have a sneaky look. It's just about relaxing and getting as tired as I can, and then I can sleep.

Jo Dodds: Lovely. So to go back to the daytime again, what sort of tools and technology are you using for either planning your work, or getting it done, or to make your day go more smoothly?

Hazel Addley: That's a good question. I really like Microsoft Excel. It might be controversial for some.

Jo Dodds: You and Jason [Butler 00:12:13], who was on one of our earlier shows, he's a big Excel fan as well, so I'll have to put you in touch.

Hazel Addley: I like it for monetary stuff, but I think also, it's really great for just brain dumping. You can colour-code things and move them around, and have different pages for different things. I think I've set up my whole business using Excel to get what's in my head out. Any project I have, anything I start, I tend to open an Excel document. Or Word, sometimes, but often Excel. Another thing I use is Trello. That's an app that I can access on my phone and the computer, and it's sort of like having a board, and then you put cards in columns. Each column could represent something, and then each card represents something within it. So I've got one for my client management. Each client is a card, and as they journey through their coaching with me, I drag each card along the columns. So session 1, session 2, session 3, and sort of anything around that as well. The other thing I have is something called ColorNote.

Jo Dodds: I've not heard of that. That's a new one.

Hazel Addley: It's just an app on my phone. An Android app. It's great because it's like a way of capturing anything I need to capture as I'm going out and about on my day. So I could put it on Trello, but I worry it will get lost in the mix of ... Trello's my massive brain dumping, as well as practical things like the client journey. But ColorNote, I can put it as a header on my phone, so I can see there's an outstanding note. It's also my shopping list, for instance. Over the years, I've managed to add things to it, so I just now kind of tick what's current, and I walk around the supermarket looking at it and crossing off as I go. It's very useful.

Jo Dodds: I like having a shopping list on my phone when I go shopping.

Hazel Addley: Exactly. I think anything would do, as long as it can do a list. With ColorNote, you can change the colours of the notes as well, and I think you can set reminders. You can e-mail them to yourself, so if you want to extract the information again, you can do that quite easily.

Jo Dodds: You talked about working from home for most of your career, working with corporate organizations as a freelancer, and now working with yourself. Has how you manage your time and how you work through the day changed as a result of the different approaches, if you like?

Hazel Addley: Yeah, it has. I used to keep a little notepad next to me on my desk, and I'd put my start time and finish time of every session of work I did for any client, so that then I could [inaudible 00:15:13] that onto a spreadsheet, and then add it up when I was invoicing them. So it'd be like constantly feeling like I'm on the clock, or I should be on the clock. I think that's the big thing, whereas now, I like to be time aware, but it's not the same. But something that's stayed the same about [inaudible 00:15:35] is when there's tasks that I'm not looking forward to doing, or they feel quite overwhelming, I use a timer. So I set a timer for 45 minutes, and then just blitz the task. Whatever my step into it is, I'll start there, and I'll just blitz it for 45 minutes until the timer goes off-

Jo Dodds: That's impressive. 45 minutes, as well, for that. I've done it, myself, with 25 minutes. I'm not sure I could approach it with 45.

Hazel Addley: What I do is, it's called "The Power of an Hour," so you do 45 minutes on and 15 off. In your 15 off, you do anything you want to do. I don't necessarily stick to that, but I like the 45, because it's just enough for me to stretch me and push me past my comfort point, which is about 35 minutes. It's in that stretch bit for me that I find that the magic seems to happen. I push myself past where I would have naturally stopped, and things that I didn't expect to achieve happen.

Jo Dodds: That's an interesting point, because they do say, don't they, you're supposed to work in sort of 45 minute slots. Some people do 90 minutes, so they must do what you've just said with the break in the middle.

Hazel Addley: Yeah, 90 is hardcore.

Jo Dodds: It is, isn't it? I have quite a lot of different things going on, so two quite different businesses. I'm working with [Engage for Success 00:16:56] as well. I suppose I'd struggle to have 90 minutes of one thing of anything, because there's so much more to do in the day, but that may just be me.

Hazel Addley: That used to be a struggle I had, when I had multiple clients and [inaudible 00:17:12] different ways, and I'd have to check my e-mails for me, as a freelancer, my e-mails for them in all different places, and then work out who was the priority for that chunk of time. Was it the project or the event I was creating that needed daily checking, there's all these bitty tasks, or was it the chunky piece of work that really needed me to focus 3 or 4 hours to get a solid bit of it done? That was a big challenge, was how ... I guess it is now, with what I do now, but it just doesn't feel so challenging now, because there's no one else I'm accountable to. I guess I don't carry as much pressure [crosstalk 00:17:52].

Jo Dodds: We talked a bit about relaxing in the evening. How do you make sure that you're keeping yourself healthy? You've done, as they say, a bit of that evening relaxing, and sounds like eating [inaudible 00:18:08], possibly, from the way that you said you'd changed your smoothies from your toast. What sort of things are you doing to keep healthy?

Hazel Addley: Smoothies was a big one. I changed that about 2 months ago. I [inaudible 00:18:21] an e-book by a lady called Alison Nixon, she's got a free e-book on her website, alisonnixon.com. That meant I started the day [inaudible 00:18:33], who I also know through networking locally, is that it's putting goodness into my body, first thing. That's been great. I've also replicated that in the evening meals, to make sure that I am ... I've sort of, it's this slow progression, shifting to having more veg, more protein, and more complex carbs. Less processed foods. That's all kind of been a little-by-little. I'm not perfect with my food. I do like sugar and I do like salt, a lot. I've been cutting back on those, as well. My diet has been really important to me to kind of just ... Working from the inside out, because what you put into your body is going to affect the quality of what comes out. I've also given up caffeine-

Jo Dodds: Tell me more about exercising ... Sorry. Say again?

Hazel Addley: No problem. I said I've also given up caffeine, which has been a really interesting one.

Jo Dodds: Did you get all the withdrawal symptoms?

Hazel Addley: No. No, I just didn't fancy it one day and stopped. What was interesting was I was at an event recently, helping at an event with some other people I know, and I noticed that most of them craved caffeine, and they got really stressed and tired and grumpy, because they were needing their caffeine fix. I didn't have that at all.

Jo Dodds: That's interesting.

Hazel Addley: That was an easy one to give up, and that's what I find interesting, because sugar's a whole other story.

Jo Dodds: Exercise, I'm intrigued by. You talked about exercising 6 days a week, I think you said. Tell me more about how you make that happen, especially-

Hazel Addley: Yeah. It's really strange for me, because if you'd have told me a year ago I would be exercising, I would have laughed at you. Before that, I did walking for exercise. I've got walking on the weekends. I'd walk several days a week for fun. But now, I've started with, in autumn, doing 10 minutes a day of any exercising, any movement first thing in the morning as part of a thing I was trying, a book called "The Miracle Morning" by Hal Elrod, which is about doing certain practices first thing in the morning. 10 minutes of exercise a day was a stretch. Then I discovered high intensity interval training, HIIT training, and that seemed really effective. You'd get your heart rate going, you'd pack loads into your ten minutes, and then it keeps on working for up to either 24 or 48 hours afterwards at burning the fat off and being really effective. So I started to try some HIIT workouts, and then started to try some other workouts, all on YouTube. I've built it up to now doing about 20 to 30 minutes every, yeah, 6 days a week. So I do HIIT training every other day, but cushioned in workouts based on body-specific or cardio-focused. It sort of surprises me, still, that I do it. But I would say it's my favourite part of the day, is getting up and exercising.

Jo Dodds: Is that some of the, have you followed a particular regime, or have you made it ... Made it up yourself makes it sound like it's kind of a big tin pot, but have you worked out-

Hazel Addley: No, I have made it up myself. I really have. I'd love to work with a personal trainer at some point and have some more input. I set some goals for myself, so I knew what I was trying to achieve. I researched HIIT training, so I could check what was safe, because you shouldn't do it too often. Also, after certain periods of time, I've heard that it stops being effective, so it's not something you can do forever and it working that way. So I had a month off in June from working out, because I was poorly, so I started again [inaudible 00:22:12] May, May.

So what I decided to do was do 3 months of a plan, and then reassess after 3 months. Over that time, I'll continue learning and maybe I'll engage with somebody who can give me some more qualified input, but I kind of looked at other people I admire and saw what they were doing, and just thought, "I'm not up to their level. I'm not that strong or that fit, so I'll take it steadily. I'll listen to my body, and just build up gently." The other thing that's really important to notice is that it's summer right now. So my body, our bodies are at their most expanded and open right now. We are more able to do more exercise, and the body likes it right now. But come autumn, and especially winter, the body will close down quite a lot and there will be less energy and less flexibility. So I would need to adjust what I'm doing, if I [inaudible 00:23:06] seasonally, which is my choice to do so. So I would then reduce my exercise appropriately.

Jo Dodds: That sounds really interesting. I do remember when I used to go to the gym every morning, on my way into work for a period of time. Most people who know me now would never believe it, but I did use to get up at some ridiculous hour, manage to go to the gym for an hour, and then still get to work on time at 9:00, or whatever. I do remember feeling good, because it was just that whole ... I suppose that whole thing of thinking, "Oh my God, I'm doing it." As well as the benefit of the exercise and the endorphins, and all that sort of thing.

Hazel Addley: Yeah, that's why I do it very first thing. I set out my [inaudible 00:23:46] at night. I plan the night before what I'm going to do, and then I literally put my clothes on and start exercising. I do a little warm-up, obviously, but I do it before I have time to talk myself out of it.

Jo Dodds: They do say sometimes, don't they, if you're trying to go to the gym, put your clothes on and go out the front door, and by that time, you'll probably carry on.

Hazel Addley: But my energy has increased so much. Even just doing the 10 minutes a day of light exercise, my energy has increased so much that I honestly don't want to go back to feeling how I felt before. So I hope that I will continue to find ways to incorporate exercise now, as an ongoing thing. But I do appreciate that everything has its season. So we'll see.

Jo Dodds: Tell me more about your learning and improving of yourself. You've talked already about studying, and everything that you're saying sort of leads me to think that you're constantly looking to improve yourself. What sort of things are you doing?

Hazel Addley: Yeah. It's been an ongoing journey that probably consciously started about 10 years ago. What I'm doing always evolves and develops, so at the moment, I am studying energy alignment method with Yvette Taylor, which is ... It sort of is eclipsing just about everything else at the moment, because it's such a big program that I'm on, and it's so profoundly life-changing and amazing. So that's a big deal, and that's about-

Jo Dodds: Tell us a bit more.

Hazel Addley: Energy alignment method, or EAM, is ... I'm not the best as describing it just yet, because I'm just soaking it all in, but it's using the kinesiology sway, which where the body tells you yes or no by how it moves, combined with a very simple phrase that helps you to ... You can apply it to releasing your resistances. So resistances can be emotional, mental, they can be patterns that don't service ... Whatever it is that you're focusing on, you can use the phrase and the sway to release it. Then you put something better for you in its place. So you put an affirmation, a positive, that's going to really serve you. Again, you use the sway to help you understand what's right for you. Then you use the phrase to embed it. It's a very simple tool, but it can be applied in far, far-reaching ways.

What we're doing with the program is, the first section is about applying it to yourself. So it's about improving your life on the levels of spirituality, mentally, emotionally, physically, and clearing out all the baggage and the crap that we carry throughout our lives that cause things to layer up. It's about shedding all of that. Then working on your external world. Releasing all the things that are stuck and holding you back, that you might not even know is there in your environment, with your relationships and your fun and lifestyle part of your life. Then the third section, I'm not yet on, but we're going to be working on, is applying the same processes to looking at your money and the business areas of your life. I've kind of ... I'm only about halfway through, and it really, really has changed my life. I feel like a much shinier, better, happier version of myself than I've probably ever felt in my whole life. That's why this is eclipsing everything, because it's taking up a lot of time, but it's also really working. So yeah, that's that one.

Jo Dodds: That's an amazing testimonial. That's one worth checking out, I think. Definitely. Cool.

Hazel Addley: I've been training to use it, as well, in my coaching. As a tool to add, along with my coaching later in the year, so next year I'll be able to use this tool with other people, which I'm really excited about.

Jo Dodds: Did you say there were other things that you were doing?

Hazel Addley: Oh gosh, there's always other things. I had a personal development life before EAM, a big one, but I think for me, it's ... At its core, it's about following what intrigues me and what I'm curious about. I always want to be learning. I think just being open to learning new things, especially if it's about what my experience of the world is like and how I can improve that, then I'm always interested. I have a subscription to Audible, so I have at least a book a month, but I listen to in the car and as I go about my day. I also really like watching videos on YouTube and Ted Talks. I think [inaudible 00:28:21] get to experience new people and new things in that way. Another thing that I thought that I did last year, at the end of last year, was I took part in a group on Facebook where you posted something daily that you were grateful for. That was amazing, because you have to sometimes search to find it, but it really helps shift my energy into loving elements of my life that I would have taken for granted.

Jo Dodds: I've just started doing some sort of gratitude stuff, and I was talking to a previous guest about it also today, and it's interesting, as you say, how it does focus you on things that you wouldn't ordinarily think about in [crosstalk 00:29:05]. Which must be good, wasn't it?

Hazel Addley: Anything that lifts you up. If you think of the emotions, like the scale of emotions, so you've got your kind of denser, heavier-feeling emotions on the bottom, you come up to neutral, and you've got your lighter, brighter, more empowering expanse of emotions at the top, anything that lifts you above neutral and further up towards the top, I think is always really good, because the more we're in that space when we go about our day, the more we're likely to do things and attract things into our life that we want, and that we're going to enjoy and create more of. Yeah, anything that lifts us, I think is good for us.

Jo Dodds: What about some other thing of learning, or just maybe enjoyment, things like books or films or music that you might recommend? Any that you ... You talked about Audible, so you've obviously got a few books that you've read recently, or listened to anyway.

Hazel Addley: Yeah. I really like Eckhart Tolle, you know, the book, "The Power of Now"?

Jo Dodds: Yep.

Hazel Addley: The first time I read it, it kind of went over my head a bit. But the second time I read it, a couple years later, it was just mind-blowing for me. I can't even begin to express what he talks about in that book. [inaudible 00:30:24] give it any justice, but it's kind of all about looking at how you are being and how you are experiencing the world. It just simplifies everything and cuts through a lot of the B.S. that we believe is real. Yeah, I loved that. Another one that I really like is Abraham-Hicks, which I tend to like on YouTube. If anyone who hasn't experienced that, it might be a little bit weird. I did think that when I first experienced Abraham-Hicks. So it's a woman who is kind of embodying the wisdom from, for want of a better word, a spirit or force external of herself, a wise spirit, and when she's in that place, she shares just this amazing wisdom. No matter what topic it's on, it's always really enlightening. Definitely recommend Abraham-Hicks books or videos on YouTube.

Jo Dodds: Lovely. I'll add those to the [show 00:31:29] notes, thank you. What about if things don't go right? You're sort of painting a picture of this lovely bubble of improvement and calm, and I'm sure it's not always like that. So what about when it doesn't quite go right?

Hazel Addley: Well, yeah, things happen, right? Life happens. Other people's stuff happens to us sometimes, happens around us. For me, when things don't go right ... Might sound a bit strange, but I kind of just go with it. I don't tend to strongly resist and fight it. I tend to detach emotion. So if something's gone wrong, something's broken, I don't tend to get angry at it, or annoyed, or frustrated. There might be a burst of it, I'm human. But then I quite quickly seem to just realize that the emotion isn't necessary. It's not serving me, it doesn't make it fixed any quicker. It doesn't solve anything. In fact, attaching emotion makes me feel worse. So I tend to be a bit of a [inaudible 00:32:36] about it, and instead of getting emotional, I tend to kick straight into, "Well, what do I need to do? What are my options? What ideas, what's the next step to take [inaudible 00:32:49] of this?"

Jo Dodds: How do you do that? Because I agree, detachment in lots of situations can be really helpful, and a really helpful way of dealing with them. But it's easier to say than do in lots of cases. How do you generate that sense of detachment from such things? How do you become a [inaudible 00:33:09]?

Hazel Addley: It's kind how I am, now. I think. Because I've done a lot of work on myself to become more conscious of how I'm thinking and feeling and behaving in the moment. It's like, we're living and we're doing and we're being, but I've done a lot of work on myself to be able to slightly side-step from that and observe what I'm thinking and being and doing. I don't have to embody the emotion of it. I wouldn't say I'm perfect at this, I am human. So I can observe what's going on with me, and not then need to embody it. So I don't need to start shouting or whatever. I can see that I feel anger. But then I can just kind of let it go.

EAM, again, is a tool that I could use to let go of whatever's not working at the moment. But even without EAM, I think it's just about doing practices to become more self-aware of what's going on, what your stuff is. [inaudible 00:34:05], so that when you're in that moment, you take a breath, you get into your body, you let your energy flow down to your feet and get grounded, and think, "Right. Well, okay, this thing's happened. Let's take another breath and think. What do I do about this?" I'm not saying that you shouldn't have the emotions. I think emotions are important, positive and negative, but you don't need to let the emotions ride you or control you. It's just seeing them and where [inaudible 00:34:33] releasing them, or understanding what they're telling you and then releasing them, so that then you can actually do something to improve the situation.

Jo Dodds: Yeah. No, that's really helpful. Thank you. So what about a day when you end the day knowing that you've had the opportunity to live more, and I describe that as doing more of the stuff that you want to do and less of the stuff that you feel you should do, or you have to do. What have you done? What does that day look like?

Hazel Addley: Oh, gosh. It'd probably be different every day. I probably wouldn't have just one. It might include having done something or been somewhere that I haven't been before. I like to feel like the world's there for exploring. For instance, when I go for walks, I go for walks with my brother sometimes. If we have a choice of a fork in the road, we'll always go down the road or the path that we've never been down over the one we know. I think, yeah, exploring is really important. Tied in with that is-

Jo Dodds: Can I ask you, do you get lost often? Do you go down that fork and then not know where you're doing?

Hazel Addley: I don't think we've ever got lost, because we're probably not quite fit enough to walk far enough to get lost? Because we've been like, maybe, 3 to 5 miles. I don't think you can really get lost. Living in East Kent, you're always going to hit a road that you know eventually. I'd love to get lost when I'm with someone.

Jo Dodds: So not entirely lost, then.

Hazel Addley: Yeah, no. We've not known where we're going to come out, and it's been an adventure, but we've never really got fully lost.

Jo Dodds: Okay-

Hazel Addley: One time we'd-

Jo Dodds: Yep, go on.

Hazel Addley: One time we did this, we found an old Viking ship ruins.

Jo Dodds: Oh, wow.

Hazel Addley: [inaudible 00:36:18]. Yeah, we were walking between St. Margaret's and Dover, along the cliffs, and we just decided to go as close to the cliff as we could for that walk, and we just came across this little walkway. We looked down, and there was this zigzag path going down, and then there was a sunken Viking ship. I think it was Viking anyway, my history isn't great. We could go down so far down this path before it ended, down the face of the cliff. So I believe we discovered the Viking ship, because that was our experience of it. That's adventure for me.

Jo Dodds: Lovely. Okay. So you're out on your day, your walk, you've taken the fork that you didn't know. What other things will be happening on this day of living well?

Hazel Addley: [inaudible 00:37:03] this is I really like to be outside and breathing in the fresh air. Obviously, that happens when you walk, but even on a day when I'm not walking, I think connecting with the fact that there is the sky above us, the Earth below us, there's nature all around us, no matter how much as humans, we put what we want in place. There's this kind of broader way that the world and the Earth is functioning, [inaudible 00:37:29] in the Earth is functioning that it's just nice to realize how small I am in the midst of all of that. Each of us are so incredibly powerful within ourselves, but equally, we're part of something so broad. So I like to get out and if there's a nice moon or something, it'd be nice to just pop out in the garden and mark those moments. Yeah, enjoy. Enjoy being outdoors.

Jo Dodds: It's interesting. Those sorts of simple things, we don't always get the chance to do when we're in our busy, frenetic lives indoors sort of things. So it's nice to-

Hazel Addley: It's always two minutes. Always. No matter how busy we are. If we take those two minutes ... So I do it, I might let the dogs out and then go out with the dogs. If you take those two minutes, you get a clarity of thought that you wouldn't have had before. So it actually is beneficial to your life and to your work to take that time out.

Jo Dodds: Lovely. Thank you. I will make [inaudible 00:38:32]. Brilliant. So how can people find out more about you and connect with you, Hazel?

Hazel Addley: I have a website. It's www.hazeladdleycoaching.com, and that's Addley, A-D-D-L-E-Y. I have a newsletter on there. I send the newsletter out maybe monthly with different thought pieces, basically, on whatever's inspired me to share that month. I'm also on social media. I'm on Facebook. I have a page on Facebook, Hazel Addley Coaching. I'm also on Twitter. "hazeladdleycoac," C-O-A-C, because I'd run out of letters.

Jo Dodds: That's where you're wishing there wasn't an "e" in Addley.

Hazel Addley: I know, right?

Jo Dodds: How could your parents have not spelled it right all those years ago?

Hazel Addley: Right. So thoughtless.

Jo Dodds: Lovely. Excellent. Well, thank you so much for joining me today. I really enjoyed the conversation. I got some good [crosstalk 00:39:29]-

Hazel Addley: [crosstalk 00:39:29]

Jo Dodds: To go off and investigate.

Hazel Addley: Lovely. My job here is done.

Jo Dodds: Thank you.

About the Author

I work with business owners and leaders to improve their wellbeing, in these days of overwhelm, whether that be physical, mental or digital, using my POWER to Live More 5 Fundamentals of Simplify, Systemise, Share, Self Care and Sustain. I also work with business leaders to help them to improve their organisational employee engagement and wellbeing. I believe they are interlinked in a lovely virtuous circle.

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